by Sayaka Murata (translated by Ginny Tapley Takemori)
First published in: 2016
Date read: 10 April 2023
Some thoughts:
What is it to be human? What is it to be a part of society?
"I was beginning to lose track of what 'society' actually was. I even had a feeling it was all an illusion."
In a seemingly matter-of-fact narration style, the author manages to capture subtle details - sounds, smells, moods, emotions, expressions, thoughts, movements, mental models.
People take comfort in thinking alike, being like everyone else, wanting the same things as everyone else, fitting in. Because being different as per societal standards is frowned upon. But, Keiko (our protagonist) is not your usual person. Even though she thinks differently, she's tuned herself to picking up cues from the environment, mimicking people and their energies so that she is perceived as normal by society. She finds reassurance when she responds the way people are expected to response.
"The normal world has no room for exceptions and always quietly eliminates foreign objects. Anyone who is lacking is disposed of."
'Normal' people's identities are anchored in society and the roles they play, not in themselves.
"For eighteen years, there has always been a manager, even if his appearance keeps changing. Although each is different, taken all together I sometimes have the feeling that they are the same person."
In her heart, Keiko is true to herself. She knows what makes her happy. She has a purpose. She finds her niche, she finds meaning.
You'd like this book if:
you like food and being around food
you find yourself at home in convenience stores
you have sharp senses and observation skills
you appreciate nuances, you thrive for details
you feel like you don't fit in - you find yourself at odds with the fabric of society
you echo the energy you experience from people and the environment, you can take a hint and respond to cues
you find it hard to understand people and you feel like people don't understand you
despite everything, you have a strong sense of self
you find comfort in routine
A few of my favourite lines from the book (in order of appearance):
"When I first started here, there was a detailed manual that taught me how to be a store worker, and I still don't have a clue how to be a normal person outside that manual."
"After all, I absorb the world around me, and that's changing all the time."
"He seemed to have this odd circuitry in his mind that allowed him to see himself only as the victim and never the perpetrator."
"You eliminate the parts of your life that others find strange - maybe that's what everyone means when they say they want to 'cure' me."
"Deep down I wanted some kind of change. Any change, whether good or bad, would be better than the state of impasse I was in now."
"I wish she'd given me clear instructions before, then I wouldn't have had to go to such lengths to find out how to be normal."
Time investment & optics (for whomsoever it may concern):
At 165 pages and roughly A5 sized, the book is a smooth, light read; generously interspersed with subtle humor. Clean serif font, nice line spacing and margins. Love the feel of the paper - good for highlights and annotations. I have the 2019 edition.
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